


You and me got a whole load of history

by setaxis



Series: ABO au [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, M/M, Slow Burn, omega jb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-06-08 08:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6846847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setaxis/pseuds/setaxis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum had never expected to be an Omega. It's difficult enough without the man he thought would be <i>his</i> omega resurfacing in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Resurgance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dollyeo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyeo/gifts).



> For my dearest Vaninilla! hope you enjoy ~
> 
> Yes I've started another series... I will update the others eventually but I'm in the middle of exams and the last year of uni so pls be patient with me!
> 
> This for me was a chance to explore abo dynamics more. There is a lot of discussion and parallels drawn with real life gender issues so be aware. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy!

_Jaebum_

When Jaebum first presented he was terrified someone was going to smell his heat on him and take it as an invitation, no matter how much they told them in sex ed that nobody could. Unconscious responses to pheromones are apparently not the same as being able to smell an omega in season, but what really is the difference to an alpha between an omega being suddenly more attractive and a seduction? Not a lot, according to the alphas Jaebum hung around in school with. As it is, the unpleasant mix of anxiety and _need_ that buzzes round his head every time his season rolls around makes him want to hide in his room until the whole thing is over.

He doesn't though. He can't afford to miss three weeks of class in a row just because his body has turned traitor. Suppressants, if he could persuade his doctor he needed them, might cut it down to two, but even so there's no way he can miss nearly a month of lectures a year because he's too scared to leave the dorm. Even with Mark taking notes for him it's just too much to miss.

So every six months he steels himself for three weeks of hell and just gets on with it. His notes may look a thousand times worse but strangely his essays seem to be even better when he's distracted by that constant itch. He's been lucky enough that none of his heats have fallen in exam season. (Sure there was extenuating circumstances, but that only really counted if you failed because _in real life no one is going to make allowances for your heats, omega_.)

It's mortifying though, going outside while in heat. He hates having to wear his pads just in case he gets too aroused and soaks through his boxers. He hates feeling fuzzy and needy and weak. He hates all of it.

Of course sod's law means that the first time he sees Jinyoung again in three years he's in season.

He's at Mark's, curled up on the bed in misery, when Jackson bursts in. Not unusual what with this _thing_ he and Mark have going on (something Jaebum actively encourages because there's nobody who can make Mark smile like Jackson does) but what _is_ unusual is the nervous face that appears behind him in the doorway.

"Hey Markipoo!" Jackson yells. "Guess who I brought with me~"

The guy behind Jackson steps out and gives and Mark a little wave, a shy smile stretching across his face.

"Hope it's okay to pop over. Jackson said he was coming and I'd missed you at lunch." He says.

Jaebum feels sick. He knows that voice. He knows that face. He even knows that expression, the hope that shines from those eyes. 

_We'll keep in touch, right hyung? After you graduate?_

Park Jinyoung. 

He stares as Mark gets up off the bed to pull Park Jinyoung into a warm hug. Jinyoung hasn't noticed him yet but it's only a matter of time. Jaebum sees the moment unfold in slow motion - from Jinyoung pulling back from Mark's embrace to the glance he sends over his hyung's shoulder when the smile, warm and sunny, drops into shock and confusion and - 

"Jaebum hyung?" Jinyoung asks in disbelief. "You're here?"

His hands are still around Mark's waist and something bitter rises in the back of Jaebum's throat. His mouth seems to have welded shut and he curses all the times he told Mark he'd want to live like he did - want to know what it felt like to have his tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. He knows now and he wishes he didn't.

"You know Jaebum?" Jackson butts in loudly.

"We..." Jinyoung's eyes flicker over to Jaebum as if he wants to ask what he should say. Jaebum stares back, blankly. He doesn't know what Jinyoung wants from him.

"We went to the same school." Jinyoung says finally.

A pang shoots through Jaebum's chest. Mark is looking at him in that way he has, asking without words if what Jinyoung has said is true. 

"Yeah." Jaebum mutters. 

Jackson seems to notice the tension in the room and starts tugging on Jinyoung's arm. "Well, I can see you're in the middle of a movie marathon so we should go. Right, Jiroungie?"

It's the most ridiculous excuse. Jackson wouldn't care if they were in the middle of discovering the cure for cancer if it meant it got between him and spending time with Mark, let alone allowing a movie marathon to stop him. He's about to say as much when he catches the grateful look Jinyoung sends Jackson's way. The glue returns to the roof of his mouth.

"See you tomorrow though?" Jackson says as he steers him and Jinyoung out into the hallway. Mark nods. He seems disappointed that they're leaving so suddenly but Jaebum gets the feeling he understands that something else is going on here.

Jaebum keeps watching until Jinyoung is completely out of sight, desperate for even a glimpse of him after all this time apart. Then he's gone and the door slams behind Jackson and Jinyoung in a way that seems devastatingly final. Jaebum feels numb.

"Jaebum?" Mark calls softly. He stops the movie playing on the laptop when Jaebum doesn't answer and the room is plunged into silence. 

Then the gentle strains of the playlist Jaebum put together for Mark to help him sleep plays across the laptop's tinny speakers and, despite how miserable and wretched Jaebum feels, a part of him starts to relax. Mark clambers onto the bed to wrap himself round Jaebum from behind, skinny, wiry arms wrapped around his waist. They're spooning. It feels warm and safe and the tension bleeds out of Jaebum until he's a boneless pile of goo.

"Comfy?" Mark whispers. 

Jaebum hums in response. 

"So, Jinyoung huh?" Mark's fingers trace lazy patterns against Jaebum's stomach. "He that omega you told me about?"

Jaebum hums again, too comfy and drained to even find the energy to answer properly. 

"He's pretty." Is all Mark says.

It's strange having someone like Mark in Jaebum's life. Before, at school, all he had known were the hot headed, stereotypical alpha dickheads who thought that omegas were beneath them. Fuck, he could have even turned out to be one of them. Never in a million years would he have guessed that his best friend, the guy that would understand when best to give him space and the most considerate person he has ever known would be an alpha. 

Not for the first time, he wonders what it would be like to be Mark's omega. He doesn't love him _that way_ but he thinks he wouldn't mind being an omega if he had an alpha like Mark. 

"Love you, dude." He mumbles mindlessly.

Mark squeezes Jaebum's waist tighter. "Me too." 

xxx

_Jinyoung_

"Wait, Jaebum? That Jaebum?" Jackson whispers.

Jinyoung nods as adamantly as he can while trying not to bring attention to himself. Jaebum is still looking up at him from where he lies curled up on Mark's bed. Jinyoung can feel something cold and bitter churn in his gut. 

He doesn't register what Jackson says next, too busy trying to work out what the carefully blank expression on Jaebum's face might mean. Perhaps once he would have known but now, three years later, all confidence has left him. Back then he would have said that Jaebum is scared, that inside he's panicking on seeing Jinyoung again. But then maybe Jaebum just doesn't feel anything at all. It's just Jinyoung, again.

Pretty soon Jackson has bluffed his way out of their date with Mark, a shame as Jinyoung was really looking forward to catching up with him. Jinyoung sends him a grateful look. He's so glad for Jackson and his crazy but never more than at times like these.

Honestly, he'd thought he was over Jaebum. He thought he'd put all the shit Jaebum had put him through behind him but seeing him again has made it painfully clear that isn't the case at all. The ache in his chest is almost as bad as it had been all those years ago when it became obvious that Jaebum wasn't going to answer any of his calls or messages, that he was done with high school and Jinyoung as well.

The last thing he'd expected was to run into Jaebum again now, here, at university, in the bed of his best friend's crush. Jaebum had always been so against any kind of physical contact at school. The only thing Jinyoung had ever received from him were playful headlocks (it's embarrassing now to think about how desperate Jinyoung was for Jaebum to touch him that he used to goad him into that kind of rough-housing just to feel Jaebum's hand on him) but now he's lounging in some other guy's bed like he belongs there? It hurts, more than him dropping Jinyoung in the first place.

_Jinyoung wasn't good enough._

It's the only explanation he can come up with. Jaebum has changed in ways he refused to do for anyone else, Jinyoung included, and it's enough to make Jinyoung feel physically sick with jealousy. 

"You okay?" Jackson says, concerned. 

Jinyoung snaps out of his thoughts. In the time he'd been wallowing in his misery Jackson has somehow managed to get them back to Jinyoung's room on the other side of the alpha dorms.

"Stay with me?" Is all Jinyoung can bring himself to say. It had taken a long time for him to open up to Jackson in the first place about the mess that is his feelings for Jaebum and he's not sure he can do the same now without bursting into tears. He's an ugly crier. He doesn't want Jackson to see that.

Jackson gives him a wide grin, punching in Jinyoung's code and dragging him inside. He deposits Jinyoung on the couch and heads straight for the cupboard where he knows Jinyoung keeps his Guilt Snacks. The next thing Jinyoung knows he's tucked up in the quilt his mum made him with a bowl of gummy worms in front of him and the tinny opening strains of The Notebook coming from his laptop. Perhaps he should be worried about how many of his passwords Jackson knows, but for now all he can feel is overwhelming gratitude.

He snuggles into Jackson's side, the lump in his throat preventing him from expressing his thanks. He promises himself that soon he'll explain to Jackson what happened today soon. As soon as he's processed it himself. 

xxx

_Jaebum_

The next time Jaebum is forced to interact with Jinyoung he's still in season and he still hates everything. Mark doesn't usually bother trying to get Jaebum to socialise while he's in heat but Jackson has made it his mission to initiate Jaebum into his friend group and he is _relentless_. (Jaebum is convinced this is a ploy to spend more time with Mark by including the time he would have spent with Jaebum into 'Jackson+friends' time rather than from enjoyment of his company).

"Why am I here again." Jaebum deadpans as he watches one of Jackson's minions, Bambam, sticking his fingers in Jackson's lunch and then trying to stick them up another minion's nose. 

Mark, traitor that he is, just shrugs and says, "It's Jackson's fault."

Which, okay, true. Everything is always Jackson's fault. But that doesn't do anything to help him when Jaebum is stuck at a table full of children (one of which is trying to get with his best friend) and Park Jinyoung, who is pointedly not looking anywhere near Jaebum's direction.

"You wouldn't even notice if I weren't here." He gripes low enough that nobody can hear. 

It's at that point Jinyoung turns to look at him and Jaebum freezes in his seat. There's no way he could have heard what Jaebum had said but Jaebum still feels like he's been caught doing something wrong. He feels the tips of his ears heat. 

He wants to say something, anything, but the words are stuck in his throat. Whatever he said would never be enough anyway, not after three years of no contact. Not after Jaebum pointedly ignored all of Jinyoung's messages and calls in the months after he graduated. 

The feeling of wretchedness, of self-hate, that defined him in that year he took out before he started uni comes rushing back in a flood of guilt. 

"Jaebum?" 

He jumps, startled by Mark even though it's just a whisper. Mark looks at him with big, concerned eyes but he shakes his head.

"I'm okay." _I can stay._ is what he doesn't say. He doesn't really know what makes him say that when he's never been more uncomfortable in his life. He can feel his slick making his pad wet and the chatter that buzzes around him makes it feel like the room is going to close in on him. But he stays. God knows why. 

_Liar._ a voice in his head says. _You know why._

He looks over the table. Jinyoung isn't looking at him any more. Instead he's teasing the tall one who's making a face as Jinyoung fusses over him. Even though he's facing away from Jaebum it's easy to imagine the crinkles that must have appeared by Jinyoung's eyes as he smiles and the way his handsome face morphs into something altogether goofy when he's happy.

 _Fuck._ The realisation hits him hard. Jaebum's still in love with him. After all this time, despite everything, he's still in love with Park Jinyoung.

"I've got to go." Jaebum stands up suddenly. He waves Mark off when he tries to follow, concerned by the way Jaebum is swaying. 

"What's with him?" He hears Jackson mutter to Mark.

He doesn't care what Jackson thinks of him. He just needs to get away. Away from the noise and the image of Jinyoung's eyes, crinkled up in mirth.


	2. Repetition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many years later I return with another chapter! Hope you enjoy. Things are unfurling...

_Jinyoung_

"He couldn't wait to get away from me." Jinyoung whines petulantly. He would like to say he's gotten over his shock of seeing Jaebum again but that would be a lie. He's _less_ shocked this time but that doesn't mean that it's a comfortable experience at all. 

Firstly, no matter how much it shouldn't, it hurt to see Jaebum sitting there at lunch at the other end of the table looking like he would rather be anywhere else but sharing the same space as Jinyoung. He'd looked uncomfortable from the moment he'd sat down and it'd only gotten worse as time went on. 

"Jaebum just gets like that sometimes." Jackson replies. "I don't think it's you. One time I was trying to thank him for setting me up with Mark and he just turned green and walked off. Maybe he has a weak stomach or something."

Hearing that smarts. _Jinyoung_ is supposed to be the one who knows Jaebum best. _Jinyoung_ is supposed to be the one who understand him, but he's never seen Jaebum act like that before. Stupid to think that after so many years they'd still be the same people.

"Maybe." He mutters.

"It's okay to be still in love with him, you know."

Jinyoung starts. "I'm not."

Jackson fixes him with a look. It's not often Jackson is serious but he is now. Deadly so.

"I'm _not_." Jinyoung hisses. 

"You just have a type then." Jackson says nonchalantly.

Jinyoung's eyes narrow. "What do you mean by that." 

"Hyunwoo hyung, Taecyon hyung?"

"So?"

"Jinyoung, you've been dating versions of Jaebum ever since I met you! Yeah, he did a shitty thing but you've never really gotten over him properly anyway. Maybe this is your chance."

Jackson is looking at him with soft eyes, something that looks suspiciously close to pity swimming in them. Jinyoung feels the righteous anger growing. 

"I don't need to get over him." He insists.

Jackson says nothing. 

"What kind of best friend are you?" Jinyoung whines. "Can't you just agree with me and let me wallow in my misery? This is why I like Mark better."

"I like Mark better too." Jackson grins. He wiggles his eyebrows. 

Jinyoung makes a gross face. He's happy for Jackson and Mark honestly. Both of them are truly _good_ people, kind and generous in a way that he himself just isn't, and seeing them happy together really does make him happy too. Maybe he's just tired and bitter. 

"We should hang out soon!" Jackson says excitedly, breaking Jinyoung out of his reverie. "All of us!"

Jinyoung stares at him like he's insane. He may have only just been thinking how much he loves the guy but that love does also come with an urge to strangle him occasionally.

"Was I not complaining to you _three seconds ago_ how bad that went today?" He exclaims in exasperation.

"I'll treat you to meat?" Jackson says sheepishly.

Jinyoung sighs.

"Okay." He relents. He can't say no to free food. Especially since Bambam is two meat dates ahead of him already and he doesn't have the excuse of a season to get Jackson to treat him like Bambam does. (Not that he really envies Bambam that. He'd always watched his sisters and his father going through their heats and he had dreaded the day when his would finally come. Except it never had.)

Jackson springs up off the couch. "Great! I'll call Mark!"

Jinyoung has the sneaking suspicion that Jackson had planned this from the start. He may seem like a ditz but Jinyoung has known him long enough to know that there's always something going on in that brain of his. It doesn't always make sense to anyone else, Jackson-logic, but it's there. Ticking away all the time. Usually hell bent on making everyone around him as happy as possible. It's why Jinyoung can never stay mad at him for long.

"Tonight!" Jackson squeals happily as he catapults himself back onto the couch after what must have been a successful call. 

"Tonight." Jinyoung replies grimly. 

xxx

_Jaebum_

After the disaster at lunch the last thing Jaebum wants to do is go out to dinner with Jackson and his menagerie but Mark had pulled out the puppy eyes and then Jaebum had been forced to say yes. Jaebum has never been able to say no to Mark's puppy eyes. They remind him of how good Mark is to him and how little he gives back.

He refuses to dress up though. All he wants to wear right now is the biggest, comfiest hoodie he owns and his grossest sweatpants but the judgemental look he can imagine on Jinyoung's face is enough to make him swap to his oldest jeans and his warmest, longest cardigan. It's what he likes to call his "stylish hobo" look. 

He feels a headache coming on and wonders whether it's worth putting his glasses on. Not being in pain vs not being about to see Park Jinyoung in high definition. Difficult. 

In the end the thought of dealing with Jackson's friends while his head is pounding wins out. He shoves his glasses on his face and makes his way over to Jackson's block of the Omega dorms. It isn't hard to find. He'd been there a couple of times for various Omega parties (not really his thing but if there's free booze...) and it's right where Jaebum lived last year. 

Jackson welcomes him in as if they're long lost friends not just acquaintances tied together by their shared love of Mark. He's the first one to arrive apparently, which is surprising. He'd expected Mark to be here already. 

"Mark's napping." Jackson says, as if reading Jaebum's mind. "Couldn't bring myself to wake him up."

Well that answers that.

"And the others?" He asks, more out of a vague attempt to act like a sociable human being than an actual desire to know.

"Yuggie and Youngjae are making their own way there 'cause it's just next to their dorms, Bam'll be over in about an hour probs, after he's tried on every outfit he owns, and Jinyoung said he'd be here soon." Jackson rattles off. "Drink?"

Jaebum blinks at the beer thrust in his face.

"I'm good." He says slowly.

"Oh shit, yeah. Sorry. Forgot you were on the rag." Jackson takes the beer back and takes a swig himself, as if he hasn't said anything weird or personal at all. He must see the alarm on Jaebum's face because he immediately follows with: "I won't mention it, don't worry."

 _You already have._ Jaebum thinks sourly. He's sure Jackson probably means later, or to anybody else, but it still rankles.

 _This_ is why he didn't want to get close to any other Omegas. He doesn't want all the chatting about what they do to make it more bearable, or the sympathetic glances. He just wants to fucking get on with it.

Luckily for both of them Mark chooses that minute to make his appearance. He looks between them dozily. It's quite clear he's interrupting something but it's also clear he doesn't care, too asleep to be bothered by social niceties.

"Anyone else here yet?" He mumbles as he moulds himself into Jackson's side.

"Not yet." Jackson replies. Immediately his arms come round to wrap themselves across Mark's body and Jaebum suddenly feels like he's interrupting something private. 

He also feels a pang of jealousy. It isn't directed at either of them exactly - Jackson _really_ isn't his type, for one, and Mark is like the brother he never had - but he hadn't realised how much he wants what they have.

"Sorry man, I was getting you a drink." Jackson says, still tangled up in Mark. "We've got water or juice. I think Mark drunk the last of the coke, sorry."

"It's fine." Jaebum replies shortly.

Then something happens that Jaebum doesn't expect. Jackson pouts, honest to god _pouts_ as if Jaebum not allowing him to fetch him a drink is some kind of personal slight. Jaebum just stares. What is he supposed to do? They aren't close enough for him to feel comfortable with this. 

"When did Bambam say he'd be here again?" Mark says , breaking the silence.

"Six, but you know Bam." Jackson replies, seemingly forgotten about getting Jaebum a drink despite his instance on it not more than three seconds ago. Jaebum shoots Mark a grateful look as his friend gently pulls Jackson in the direction of the sofa.

"May as well make ourselves comfortable then." Mark pats the space next to him to invite Jaebum over.

It's deliberate, Jaebum's sure. Firstly so Jaebum doesn't have to be exposed so strongly to the force of nature that is Jackson's energy and secondly so Mark can subtly help Jaebum with his heat. He really is too good to Jaebum and it strengthens Jaebum's resolve to play nice this evening, no matter how irritable he gets when he's in season.

As soon as he flops down next to Mark he starts to feel the tension drain out of him. Part of it is that Mark is an alpha, sure, because even though they may not be able to sense it any more (thanks evolution) apparently the pheromones of an alpha will always soothe an omega in heat, but Jaebum has always believed that it's more than that. Mark has always had this calming aura about him. He is so calm and still and peaceful, like a lake on a summer's day. He doubts anyone could feel truly angry with Mark around.

Jackson, however, doesn't seem to be as affected by Mark's calming effect as Jaebum is and, as per usual, is chatty as all hell. Jaebum answers dutifully when questioned. He even sort of agrees when Jackson expresses his outrage that they haven't gotten to know each other _properly_ before this. Turns out they're both dancers and Jackson appears determined that they should "see what each other's got" soon, whatever that means.

It continues in much the same fashion until they hear the door swing open somewhere behind them. It's nearly an hour later. There's voices bickering too, getting closer and closer, but Jaebum doesn't turn round to look. He's paralysed. He can't bring himself to move because one of those voices is Jinyoung's and _fuck_ , he sounds so _happy_ and Jaebum just knows that the second Jinyoung spots him all that joy will be gone.

A gentle hand on his arm makes Jaebum realise that he's been clenching his fists so tightly that they've turned white. He looks up. Mark is watching him, face carefully neutral.

 _Chill_. He seems to say. 

Jaebum feels his hands unclench. He takes a deep breath - _in, two three four, out, two three four_ \- and turns his head towards the source of his turmoil. 

_Fuck_. Jinyoung is looking straight at him almost as if he can see through him. All of a sudden Jaebum feels very small.

_Does he know? He can't. Jackson said he wouldn't tell-_

"You're late!" Jackson cries, jumping to his feet and breaking the weird atmosphere completely. Jaebum blinks.

"I knew Bam would be last so I went over to his to wait." Jinyoung explains. 

It's as if someone has flicked a switch because he's back to charming, smooth Jinyoung again, bickering with Jackson like he wasn't trying to bore holes in Jaebum's skull with his eyes a few seconds ago. It hurts to look at Jinyoung's smile.

Quickly Jaebum turns his attention to the other arrival. 'Bam' himself is about the same height as Jackson, or would be without the heeled boots he has on. His legs are so thin they look like they might snap at any minute and he's wearing the flashiest shirt Jaebum has ever seen in his life but somehow looks like he's stepped out of a magazine rather than a douchebag. He thinks to himself that Jackson has interesting taste in friends.

He tunes back into the conversation just in time to hear Bambam squawk-

"At least I don't look like a middle-aged salary man!"

The look of sheer affront Jinyoung levels 'Bam' with is almost comical. It reminds Jaebum of the time he'd told Jinyoung he hadn't read Fahrenheit 451 and he'd marched Jaebum to the bookshop to force him to buy a copy - despite the fact it'd been so late they'd had to run like crazy to what had seemed like the last place open in Seoul. 

It's strange looking back on those memories now. He'd been forcing himself not to think about those times for so long because it was too painful after his self-enforced isolation to think back on how happy Jinyoung had been then. Before everything had gone to shit. It feels different this time and he wonders why - the pain is still there, the longing too but somehow this time he can bring himself to smile through it. 

xxx

_Jinyoung_

Jinyoung never goes to Bambam's to wait. Firstly, he has to watch Bambam parade outfits before him and pretend like he gives a crap, and secondly because the door manager at Bambam's door always gives him a look like he's up to no good and Jinyoung doesn't appreciate it. The one at Jackson's dorm is much less of an old crone and understands that omegas and alphas _can_ just be friends and that Jinyoung isn't there to rob anyone of their virtue. He scowls to himself. Stupid traditionalist old bat.

However today, as much as he prefers waiting at Jackson's, there is something (or someone) waiting for him there that he'd rather not deal with longer than he absolutely has to. After the disastrous encounter last time Jinyoung is in no rush to see Jaebum again. Perhaps Jackson was right and Jaebum's weird mood had nothing to do with Jinyoung at all. It's possible. Jinyoung doesn't think it's very probable, but what does he know? He thought Jaebum was going to stick around and then look what happened.

"Are you done yet?" He calls into Bambam's bedroom. 

All this time waiting for Bambam to make up his mind has left Jinyoung with nothing but Jaebum to contemplate and it's making him even more anxious about the whole thing. He's starting to think that maybe he should just get it over and done with, like ripping a plaster off a still-healing wound. 

"Done!" Bambam replies, flouncing in wearing possibly the most hideous of all the outfits he's put on so far. "What do you think?"

"You look great." Jinyoung lies easily. "Let's go, we're already late."

Bambam rolls his eyes. "Yes mother."

Jinyoung frowns. That sass. Bambam must have been hanging out with Yugyeom too much again. If he's said it once he's said it a hundred times, those two are a bad influence on each other and he doesn't care if Jackson says he only complains because it's _him_ they gang up on, they're a menace when they're together.

The one thing Bambam _is_ good for when he's in this mood is a distraction. Jinyoung doesn't even notice that the journey across the courtyard to the other block and it's only when they're standing in front of Jackson's door that the anxiety hits him again full force. 

"Hyung are you just going to stand there or we going in? I'm _starving_." Bambam whines. 

This time it's Jinyoung's turn to roll his eyes. Infants and their lack of patience. So Bambam doesn't know about his history with Jaebum. Can't he just let Jinyoung put this off a little longer anyway? _Just like a plaster, Jinyoung._ He tells himself. He flings the door open and steps inside, throwing a snarky, _and whose fault is that?_ over his shoulder for good measure. 

He spots Jaebum immediately. It's hard not to, not when Jackson and Mark are sporting couples dye jobs (which Jinyoung refuses to admit is cute) and Jaebum's dark hair is clearly the odd one out. He'd recognise the back of Jaebum's head anyway. Yes, he's that fucking pathetic that he spent most of his breaks during school watching Jaebum with his friends and staring at the back of his head, wishing that Jaebum would turn and look at him. He did sometimes. Jinyoung wonders how more obvious it could have been that Jaebum didn't feel the same way. 

And here he is, after promising himself never to make the same mistake again, waiting for Jaebum to notice him. _It's different this time,_ he tells himself. _This is self-preservation not self-destruction._

It happens as if in slow motion. He sees a look pass between Mark and Jaebum but he can't process it. His brain has short circuited. _Jaebum is wearing glasses_. Not a blocky, fashionable pair but the ugly, wire-framed specs he's had since they were teenagers. The pair he went to pick up with Jinyoung, the pair he only wore in front of Jinyoung. 

_He doesn't belong to you. He never has._ Jinyoung reminds himself fiercely.

He forces himself to turn back and engage in the conversation again. He doesn't even allow himself a glance in Jaebum's direction as they leave or on the way to the restaurant, sticking close to Jackson and Bambam the whole time and making conversation. Mark joins in occasionally but Jaebum is silent the whole way. It's unnerving. 

It's only when they arrive and are looking around for Yugyeom and Youngjae that he notices that Jaebum isn't looking so good. His skin has a slight greenish sheen to it, like meat just gone off, and behind his glasses his eyes are slightly unfocussed. 

"Let's wait inside for them." Jinyoung blurts out.

Everyone stares at him and he realises he must have cut into the middle of a conversation. He can feel the heat rising to his cheeks but he wills himself not to blush. 

"I'm hungry." He says as regally and pompously as he can manage. "So send the others a text and let's order." 

Jackson raises an eyebrow. Jinyoung is in for an interrogation later he's sure but for now they all pile into a booth at the side of the restaurant. 

Somehow he and Jaebum are sat next to each other. 

Jinyoung sends Jackson a glare. This is Jackson’s fault somehow, he's sure of it. Jaebum is tense at his side. His fingers drum on the table in agitation and Jinyoung thinks at least he isn't the only one annoyed by his friend's meddling. 

They don't speak to each other. Even after the others arrive Jaebum remains quiet and seemingly uninterested in the conversation flowing around him. It takes until halfway into the meal before he even so much as utters a word, and even then it's just to tell the server he wants another glass of water. 

He has started to look better though. The pallor is gone for a start and he's managed at least two bowls of rice and a good helping of the meat too. Jinyoung always knew when Jaebum was really sick because he wouldn't eat. It took a great deal to keep Im Jaebum from the love of his life. 

"You okay?" Jinyoung hears Mark whisper from Jaebum's other side. He frowns. Why would Jaebum bother coming our for a meal with them when he obviously wasn't well and hadn't been since before they left, judging by Mark's concern. He hadn't wanted to stick around last time. 

If there's one thing Jinyoung knows - or knew - about Jaebum it's that he doesn't do things he doesn't see value in. He will do things he doesn't like as long as there's a point to it but what is the point to this? For Mark? Surely he'd understand Jaebum being ill and wanting to skip. There's more to it that. But what? 

"Jinyoung hyung's thinking again! Call the newspapers!" Yugyeom crows. 

Jinyoung growls. "Unlike some people I could name I like to use my brain rather than leaving it to rot."

Next to him there's a soft chuckle. It's Jaebum; Jinyoung would know that laugh anywhere. He turns toward Jaebum automatically, like a sunflower following the sun, and immediately his breath catches in his throat. Jaebum just looks so _soft_. He's bundled up in that oversized cardigan, glasses slipping down his nose as he laughs. He's smiling that smile where his eyes disappear and his teeth stick out and he looks like a mole. It's a real smile, a true smile. Jinyoung wants to kiss him.

His eyes widen.

_Fuck. He's still in love with Jaebum._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick note on why I use everyone's real names except Bambam's. I believe (and feel free to correct me) that in Thailand they mostly use nicknames rather than their real/full names and that Bambam is the name his mother gave him. (His sibling's nicknames are Beer, Bank and Baby I believe). Therefore I think he probably goes by it all the time, not just on stage. 
> 
> Also Fahrenheit 451 is a book Jinyoung has been pictured as having on his bookshelf so I thought why the fuck not. It's also a classic and amazing and Ray Bradbury is a fooking genius so just go and read it if you haven't already.


End file.
